paper boats

dedicated to three separate ex's (ex-significant others, crush, etc.//)

( sooooo dangerous )

This was my first shortshort fiction story I ever finished. Written sometime when I was 16, when I joined Vertigo magazine. I just thought it was funny that I thought I could write, but I really couldn't. Not when I have never experienced whatever I was writing about. Note: I had NEVER BEEN drunk when I wrote this.

( It contains a lot of blood...oh, drama. )

I realized I may not even have time to vote tomorrow, unless I get up insanely early to vote before classes since I have one class right after another then it's work work wooork wooork until 11pm.
And I'm not about to go to sleep anytime soon, with my paper, reading (finishing a novel!), and quiz to study for. ldjf;lskjdf;kldjf;kj
why didn't I just fucking vote early...GRRRrrr

out approximately 12 hours.
i feel so good.
(i can't believe i am here.)

roaming the streets of london in the dark is an adventure itself.

walked all around Edinburgh yet again. this time erin & i went to see shimmer, a gorgeous play by a Glaswegian writer. it sort of reminds me of francesca lia block because it is dreamy, almost supernatural in a way. and since they are all scottish actors, i am in love. i love their language. rain was their background music.
tomorrow we will be heading off to Glasgow! i've heard so much about this city. not only is it the home of bands like belle & sebastian and camera obscura, but also it is one of the two MAJOR cities of Scotland (the other is Edinburgh which i am staying in right now)
i love it. i want to stay here forever. not really. i am just too excited. erin & i are going to travel to london next week and then paris. we're already planning it out.
i feel like i'm in my own little world here, so far away from home. it's a good relief.
<3

found out walking in the rain after class in edinburgh with an umbrella does not help, especially when you're walking beside busy streets with cars and buses running so close to you. my pants were splattered and re-splattered a couple of times, making it soaking wet though i was armed with an umbrella. i'm finally starting to dry here in this cafe.
now i'm drier but hungrier. erin & i are going to see another play at 1pm, and it's quite a walk there so i should be going soon.
i came on just to see if anyone sent me emails- but i guess not. send me something ;0
i'm spending way too much money in this cafe.

i'm using the new laptop to update this! i'm sitting in my bed...no joke. thanks andy! though it did take me a while to get familiar with this thing... i still have to re-download, re-setup everything. but i've got the main programs, even Semagic!

DONT WATCH NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. *have nightmares* it’s too unsettling for me. yes i know it’s considered a classic (saw the original ‘68 version) by many but i can’t get over how terrible the acting was-it seemed the zombies have more “life” than the living people. i never enjoyed zombie movies anyway, not even the hilarious chinese ones who jump around with arms outstretched.
ok i cant sleep now

...umm. i will. go. read. then.

i don’t know why i am so frustrated lately. politics will distract me.
this topic has been picked to death, but...i need to rant;

gay marriage > why the fuck is this a big deal? sure, i understand many people are against homosexuals & always will (can’t change that), but why do you want to take away their rights? if you don’t like them, leave them alone, let them live the way they want to. you don’t have to associate with them if you don’t want to. how are they hurting you? what, are they just spreading some gay disease? and, how would taking away their right to marriage affect you at all? Diane Feinstein has a point about Bush using this issue as a political tool. because even though most Democrats are for same-sex marriage, there are still a substantial amount who do oppose. this issue would gather their support for Bush (if only for this cause). another way to distract voters away from the other shit he’s done. it’s a desperate way, if you ask me, to distract people from current issues especially when there’s a film like fahrenheit 9/11 out by picking on this controversial issue.
but making an amendment to the constitution to take away rights? what century are we in?

yeah i just hate these gays, maybe if i take away their rights they can slowly disappear so i won’t catch their gay disease. yep, you just honestly want them all to go away forever...until you find out your girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/brother is gay. oops !

ps i know lisa & i should stop making fun of them (especially since rosa goes to a CERTAIN private jesuit school) but hahaha: http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=PD04B01
(they made such an appropriate domain: http://www.protectmarriage.org)

( my buddylist )
almost-complete aliased buddylist. except i can't remember some people's last names...

Judy, let's go for a walk
We can kiss and whatever you want
But you will be disappointed
You will asleep with ants in your pants
Judy, you're just trying to find and keep the dream of horses
And the song she wrote was Judy and the Dream of Horses
Dream of Horses
You dream of horses

ps. new rilo kiley songs. http://www.lullabyes.net/rilokiley.htm
they are playing in SF the day i'm going to be on an airplane to scotland. great timing :p

stupid KDVS live stream link didn't work for a while. everybody GO LISTEN TO 90.3FM right now and call in on theo's (dj toast) show and make a request to make him ultra-busy :p

i sleep now. must wake up semi-early (9ish) to study with kelly.

If all you want is to stay loose
There's a little echo calling
Like a miner trapped inside
If I tell her of this moment
She will in me doubts confide
And she's on me like a blanket
Like a stalk of wilting grass
I'm not sure about her motives
I'm not sure about her past
But my faith is like a bullet
My belief is like a bolt
The only thing that lets me sleep at night
A little carriage of the soul
If it starts a little bleaker
Then the year may yet be gold
Happiness is not for keeping
Happiness is not my goal
But what about me
I dont really see
How things will improve

And I know it could be me
I'm always asking for more
I keep running round in circles
I keep looking for a doorway
I'm going to need two lives
To follow the paths I've been taking

the FRENCH show: http://www.moviemail-online.co.uk/films/11899

Belle (dog), Sebastian (boy)
originally Belle et Sebastien by Cecile Aubrey

on a more worrysome note:
rebecca's going to come over in approximately 2 hours. so i have to stick around until then. eep.

don't be nervous, yawen. just hope your roommate isn't sleeping then.

now back to studying while listening to b&s.

edit [3:46pm]: oh no...how can she be sleeping again? she got up at past 12:30pm, so she's sleeping after only a bit longer than THREE hours of being awake.

i forgot to post this joke told by mirah:

so an octopus walks into a bar carrying a bagpipe. the bartender asks him "So, you gonna play that?" and the octopus says "Play it? After I take off its pajamas I'm gonna fuck it!"

i remember watching you go, and the long walk home, pass the blinking lights, with the strip club, to the carl's jr. and i remember brushing your hand and how it made me feel so sad, i wanted to hold your hand so bad. this is the bus that'll take you away, hope you enjoyed your stay, wouldn't have worked anyway.
this is the bus that'll take you away, hope you enjoyed your stay, wouldn't have worked anyway.
this is the bus that'll take you away, hope you enjoyed your stay, wouldn't have worked anyway.
i should've kissed you when i had the chance

DOWNLOAD THIS: http://tomlab.de/mp3/tom21_track12.mp3

i like this guy

omg so cute he sings pretty indie synth pop!

they're on a spanish independent label, based in madrid. so...i can't read this. http://acuareladiscos.com/vitesse/

his songs are almost...POSTAL SERVICE-ish. just look at the lyrics.

our destinations share a lot in common, we're going underground to see a friend
a memory that's tangled like a shoelace, a slipknot wrapped around
i think we've found the place where nothing ever changes once you buy
a ticket out

a simple irony that casts light on the shadows of your doubt
don't worry why
you can't outrun the past but there's no reason not to try and hide
from what's forgotten
this thing's not gonna last so take advantage of what chance accords
before its gone

our maps go blank once roads run into borders, the lines all disappear out on the edge
the train tracks all go nowhere that you've been a vanished stitch in time, a broken string

yes it's true. i host his site: toasthaste.net

toasthaste (3:07:55 AM): I <3 my geeky girlfriend. Good night Yawen. =*
echoedwalls (3:08:15 AM): geeky girlfriend? how about YOU??!!
toasthaste (3:08:21 AM): hahahaa
toasthaste (3:08:24 AM): no comment

also, i'm re-hosting edith's and sara's site...all are moved to shymuses.org if you guys are curious ;

it almost feels like summer, making plans for day (mostly night), free of responsibilities ; coming up with schemes, and not letting my parents know.

!!!!!! mikewenttoseeblonderedheadlastnightandiamjealous!

...........
it's come to the point that i realize there's no point in sleeping, i waste too much time.

i like the way you dance.